For Your EYES Only..

Posted: September 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

I am two little eyes or may be a little larger.I don’t no how exactly i look but as i see many eyes daily i can roughly make out my structure from it. I have not seen myself but have only felt. At one time i feel i am too fragile and another second i feel i am too strong. I dont remember when i was born or when i got my structure. What i remember is that i saw tears in a man’s eyes the moment i was born.Yes,he was my father.That was the first time i witnessed tears hiding in the attire of joy and joy shimmering in the attire of tears. I believe that tears are infectious as the moment i see it in other’s eyes i start feeling its presence in my own.

Everybody thinks that heart is the strongest but its me who often become the victim of the deeds of heart.I have been given the complete independence but sometimes it becomes a curse for me rather than being a boon.As I have to go through so many vicissitudes of life which i could not avoid.Its me who has to bear all the pains. In certain situations when i could not close myself i burst into tears.Like I have seen paper boats sailing in the beautiful rain and i have also seen Titanic sinking in that rain.

Whenever i get time i dream.I dream during the daytime,i dream when i sleep.I don’t remember how many dreams i have actually seen but i cannot forget those which became the purpose of my life.At times i enter into an imaginary world where I find myself making imaginary structures upon stars by joining each one of them.I often paint every picture with the colors of my own no matter what its original color is.

I remember how my parents have shown me an unconditional love and mould be into a better person.In my childhood, i use to wear my mother’s slipper to see whether i could fit into it and now when i am adult i am pining to fit into that fragile slippers again. I miss those delicate years of my life.That carefree life has vanished somewhere.As the days are passing by,i am forced to become stronger.As my awareness was increasing i am prone to more of roughness and atrocities.During my bad times,i have forced my tears to dry even before they have a chance to be formed.

I have been touched by other eyes in which i witnessed true form of love.I found it magical as no other eyes could give me the same feel.I never imagined that love actually exists after i witnessed it in somebody’s eyes.

I have also been a victim of separation and loneliness.I have often been the victim of atrocities of other humans.I have seen people worshipping all the forms of woman.I have also seen the heinous crimes done against them.They have been yearning for respect inside the doors and even outside the doors.

I remember once i was trapped in a traffic,where i could have chosen to look at the long queue but i chose to see a child holding his father tightly while sitting at the backseat of his scooter.So its me who has to choose what is offensive and whats not.I am the one who chooses every picture i see.Perception matters.I don’t know what more lies ahead in my future to see but i know i will strongly pass through it even too.

Learn Perfection From a Child

Posted: February 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

In life we often look for motivation and inspiration in our surroundings. Sometimes it becomes very difficult to pick it up when we fall. We look upwards and ask God to show us the way. But the truth is if you want to be the change then you have to accept the change. We often come across such people in our life who changes our life completely. They take us to the horizon which we never even explored before. We witness God in them. Their actions speak about their character. They become our ideal. It is a fact that there are more beautiful people in this world than we actually thought of. We get to learn from them, we get to see so much through them. These people amaze me and make me their fan. They make us a better person. Let me take you to one of my experiences.

 I cherish the relationship i share with my nephew and niece. I get to learn more from them rather than my agemates or adults. When I look at them I realize that God sent me on earth thinking that I’l not change but look how ugly I have become. I hate myself when i compare myself with them. We think we grew mature with age but I think I sounded more sensible when I was a child. I know I hav not been so bad but I made myself rough to fight against the world. But children face problems at their level too. Then why do we only choose the path of roughness? Well, this is the cycle through which all of us have to go through. I know one day when they will grow up, the same realization will dawn upon them. They will go through all those things through which I have been through. We all learn from our own mistakes. After few years, they will have their own world and I’l be trying to be a superwoman in my own world. But I’l try my best not to let that age gap come in our relationship and maintain that warmth between us.I don’t want the time to fade our relationship which we share now.

Kindergarten was colorful, life is still colorful for me but we only have started liking black and white. Children love colors naturally, but now I love them more because I have started understanding  them. May be that sounds selfish on my part, we don’t love anything for a reason. They have been like a little sister and brother to me. When I spend time with them I witness love,life,joy,emotions in them. I feel life is a celebration with them. When I meet them they are always filled with a lot of energy but when I meet most of the adults I find them ranting,crying or holding grudges against someone. I find children are creative and I have an insatiable love for creativity hence, I enjoy myself completely with them. I relish all sorts of games with them whether it was hide and seek,ice-water,pakdam-pakdai. C’mon I am still fit and full of energy. They are beautiful,sincere,disciplined yet naughty,crazy. In short I find them perfect. I never find them losing out their temper. They do good to others without expecting anything in return no matter how the other person treats them. There is a different feeling in giving. Sharing is something which most of us forget as we grow up. We consider gifts are materialistic but they understand that it is a token of love.

I know I am a free bird like them but its me who has trapped myself in my own beliefs. I believe learning is a lifelong process and we must learn from them. If you notice, children treat everyone as their friends. Actually,Friendship is the key to all our relationships. These children are filled with all those values which we all aspire to find in a human. They are perfect blend of all the positive human traits. I realized that one should never lose a crazy child inside them which helps them in attaining perfection. Be crazy.

How do we actually recognize that we are alive? Whats that you constantly feel? Its the “lub dub” sound of our heartbeat which keeps us moving. Yes, we all have a boombox. We all have a rhythm inside us. There is one thing that connects us to everything in the world and that’s the rhythm. It is something which makes us feel our presence. Starting the day with the music of alarm on your clock blend with the chirping sound of birds to ending the day with the echo of dreams in our head, music is omnipresent. Our life gyrates around the rhythm. How beautifully even a silence unfolds a rhythm in it. We hear the sound, we feel the sound, we see the sound, the sound which only our heart understands. I wonder how the different musical instruments give birth to different beats. Music contains uniqueness in itself. We all have a corner for the music. We all have an intimacy with the music. Music connects us to different parts of the world, different culture, different stories. Music contains variation. Music reveals a hidden beauty in everything.
Everyday we come across varieties of rhythm. The rhythm of laughter, the rhythm of tears in our eyes, the rhythm of a satisfaction in our breath, the rhythm of love in our increasing heartbeat, the rhythm of anger in our rising body temperature. We all choose a music to connect to ourselves. It is that very music which we don’t share with anyone because it connects us to our own thoughts, our own soul, our own feelings. We all look for our own story in those beats. We find a companion in the music. Not only we all are listeners but also a composer. We all compose our own beats through our hard work in life. Some sounds good while some sounds bad. But we never quit and keep trying until we compose the beats of our dreams.
There is a rhythm of purity in family, there is a rhythm of togetherness in friendship, there is a rhythm of belongingness in love. The beats of raindrops, sailing of paperboats, rhythm of an untold story in a painting. Even there is a rhythm when we fall, it’s the rhythm of our courage which pushes us to get up to run again. There is a rhythm in pendulum of time. There is a rhythm of hope which never let us give up in life. There is a beat of possibility which let us dream. There is a beat of pain too which indirectly purifies us. There is a rhythm in everything we breathe. And its that very rhythm which propels us to move forward in life no matter what hurdles we may have to encounter. In short,its rhythm divine.

Aside  —  Posted: October 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

An Acquaintance With A Child

Posted: September 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

I have written about my friendship with a teddy bear in my past post. But this time I embarked on another adventure of friendship where i made an acquaintance with a child of about 2 years old. Let us see how it happened.

In my summers, I went to Bengaluru at my brother’s place. In the evening, my mother and I use to stroll through a park to breathe in the magical breeze of the city. At one end of the park, i could find a group of boys of about 14 practicing martial arts. They were the delight to watch. Although they were two separate teams yet each one uplifted each other’s enthusiasm. Through my ears I could sense the fainting sound of Kannada hymns being sung by a group of old women. I could hardly understand its lyrics but i found them soothing to ears. A group of young champs were exploring the loud music, one of them was wearing the attitude of MJ. At one corner of the park I could find an old woman holding her husband’s hand proving to be an epitome of love. I could hear the laughter of a group of old men and a group of kids together. Though they were of two different age groups but I found the intensity of laughter was equal. On finding myself helpless to control that gamesome spirit in me I got up to try my hands on frisbee.

As I was letting loose a kid in me a child of two grabbed my eyeballs. His cherub-face, toothless smile and cuteness compelled me to go near him. On seeing me he smiled and hid behind his grandma. We conversed through smile and laughter. Vow! I have never thought that smile could be such a beautiful medium. Somehow it made me realize that the most precious gift a person can give to another is a smile.Slowly and steadily I developed a rapport with him. Everyday he use to wave me with his hand to let me know that he was there. Everyday I use to wait eagerly for the evening. I felt different in that one hour out of the whole day. I explored ring-a-ring-roses, pakdam-pakdai with him. I wonder as we grow up how many of us actually retain that childlike spirit in us? At times I find myself broken.  We always look for a reason to smile. We let the world control our smile. I wonder why should I let someone influence my smile? At times I have to fight with myself in order to win.Everyday we have been losing that childlike spirit in us. We bind ourselves under the norms of the society. I don’t want to grow up at the sake of losing my humanity and gaining roughness.Instead of getting influenced by others, let us bring smile to others.

At the forefront of the park, i found two children playing badminton together. They made me think how we balance each other in friendship. Someone has rightly stated that the reason why a seesaw was made for two people is that when you go down, other lifts you up again.

We use to enjoy together thoroughly. It was an unconditional friendship where age, language, cast and money was not a factor. Nowadays most of the people make friends with a reason. That child use to make me alive for few hours. I use to get filled with oomph, fun and frolic. I found it was much better to make an acquaintance with a child than a person of my age. We did not use any language but with the special powers which vested only in a child, he use to understand me. We had no expectations. Whenever I was with him, my childhood days moved to and fro in my mind. Neither I can go back in the time nor this world will let me keep my composure but still I can try to relive that childlike spirit at present too. Life is too short to be small. If we will smile and do the things, life becomes easier. I realized how even a child of two can teach me life and help me in keeping myself and others happy.I really miss you my little friend:)

The best man of my life..

Posted: June 16, 2013 in Uncategorized

When i opened my eyes for the first time i was introduced to a man who lifted me up in his arms with excitement and was choked with emotions. I know that he considered me the best gift of his life but as i started sensing the world i realized that he is the best man gifted to me by God. He is none other than but my father. I don’t call him a human form of God because God may be merciless or selfish sometimes but he is unique and selfless. If a mother is a critic then he is the one who keeps us in blind faith just to hide the roughness of the world from us. He treats his daughter like a princess so that a daughter may feel that this whole world is a castle where only beautiful people live. He is the one who introduced me to all the beautiful things in life. He is my best friend. He is a perfect blend of beauty and love.

He is the one who clad himself in the form of Santa just to prove his daughter’s belief true that Santa do exists in reality. He is the one who bought me air balloons and kites whenever i dreamt of flying in the sky. He is the one who promised me of the best prince in the world who will treat me like a princess as he has been doing so far. He is the one who can stand in the sun to push the swing  100 times just to make her daughter smile. He is the one who bursts into laughter with her daughter just to encourage her to laugh a little longer.

He is the one who saves us from our mother whenever she goes on fire. He did not like the fuss and avoids unnecessary discussion. He makes our life easier as he teaches us to concentrate on the most significant thing of life.  Sometimes just to fulfill our materialistic desire of a favorite dress or a teddy bear he spends a major part of his earnings on it. But you will never find him complaining as for him his daughter’s smile matter more than the money. Later i got to know that he worked a little longer than his normal working hours just to fulfill our materialistic desires. Sometimes we need to cry for help but he reads our pain in our eyes. If i have asked him for a doll he bought me two dolls in return.

I know i could never give the same love to my children which he gave to me.He made me realize that this life is worth living for. I might have done something meaningful in my previous life that is why i deserved him. If others taught me how to walk he is the one who lifted me up in his arms to save my feet from bearing the pain of walking. I owe to him whatever positive qualities i have in me. He taught me love, kindness, care, humor. I know if the time comes when the whole world may go against me i will always find him on my side no matter whether i am guilty or not. I am amazed at such a beautiful form of a man. He is the most beautiful person in the whole world. I believe that the best relationship in the world is of a daughter and a father. I know no other person could match the rapport i share with my father whether that person is my mother, brother, sister or my future husband. I believe people marry to fulfill their humane desires but i don’t need a man in my life just to fulfill my materialistic desires. I wrote this write up not as a writer but as any daughter would write for her father. It is just an abstract of what i feel for my him because if i will go on writing about him then the whole universe would get filled with the words of appreciation for him. Happy Fathers’ Day.

Break Free

Posted: March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

     Sometimes we are compelled to be a spectator of a tug-of-war between our own mind and our soul.Why sometimes giving a smile to someone seems to be an herculean task for us?We make many decisions in influence of many eyeballs staring at us while we ignore ours.I do not understand why we clad ourselves in the form of others?I do not understand how we keep lying to us in order to be true to others.

      We have been blessed with a beautiful nature.Do not suffocate yourself in the room of loneliness.Run and hold the hand of a person you love to stay with.Break open  the doors of your hesitation.Life would lose its significance if we will start living it alone.Even the birds fly in a group then being human could not we afford to live together?Learn to live life instead of  merely existing in life.Learn to live and express.Learn to explore your inner being.If you know how to laugh then sometimes try how to cry and feel both the parts of life.If you are in love,make sure that you let that person know how beautifully he has captured the special place of your heart.Love is an incredible feeling of belongingness.Let him know that if there is roughness in the world then there is love too which has the capacity to perform the miracle of binding two people together.Do not leave any stone unturned in making him yours.

     In life we stop ourselves many times.Why we give up many times in life instead of fighting like a Trojan.Some people are too parsimonious to lend few hours to their loved ones.Life would be happier if you will learn to share it with others.A situation comes in your life when you realize the importance  of a person and you want him to stay in life.Do not be disheartened.Take the guts to scream and shout when you want to.Break the habit of concealing your feelings.If you believe in sunrise,start believing in sunset too.If the mellifluous songs of birds gives the message of a sunrise in the form of new awakening then the sunset comes along with a darkness which helps us in realizing our mistakes and leaves a hope for tomorrow.When you expect something from life start giving it first.Life gives you back whatever you give to life.There lives a friend inside each one of us in the form of our mind.Make your “Mind” your best friend and your life would become easier.

I cannot count on my fingers how many people I have met in my life.Many might have made acquaintance with me when I was born.Many might have contributed in teaching me to walk.But seriously how many of them we remember in our life? And many people are there to whom I was related before I entered into this world like my parents,my brother and many more.Many might have sung lullaby to me and explored their experience to bring out some stories out of it.Stories which could pacify my curiosity about the unknown human world.My childhood innocence and my cuteness might have brought smile on many faces.

As I have grown up all those people might feel that I am not that same girl as the communication gap has developed between us.Sometimes they might feel that I don’t care for them anymore and I have forgotten the time we have spend together.They might feel that now I no longer bring smile on their faces in the same manner as I use to do.Like my mother keeps complaining me that why I have grown up and clad myself in the colors of maturity and why I keep correcting her wherever she is wrong?She says she still longs for that child who was untouched by the human world and who kept interrupting her by the innocent questions about the mysterious world.

As I entered into the beautiful world of school my network of friends widened.Some of my closest friends are still with me while some of them are busy in shaping their life at some corner of this world.But the memory of the golden times of school are still fresh in the heart of each one of us.I believe like a computer, humans also have cache memory in their brain where he/she keeps his closest one alive.But all those whom he/she met in life still lives in his/her RAM.I was boarding the train to cover yet another journey of my life i.e.journey of school. This is the place where I learnt all kind of emotions whether it was love,humor,joy,hatred,fight,sorrow.How can one forget those kindergarten games,innocent chit-chats,chocolates and flowers.Those were the chocolaty days of my life.I was so much accustomed to the kind of love I got here that after passing out from school I commit mistake by trusting people easily.But somehow it made me realize that the same kind of love is hard to find.Life was so easy and it felt like a family.Wherever I went,whatever I touched I developed a kind of relationship with that place whether it were classes where we studied,garden,swings,trees,flowers or teachers and friends.I realized the depth of the 7 lettered word “FRIENDS” here.Sharing few laughter with friends on swings,playing pranks on each other,eating at canteen,birthday treats,icecream fights.All these memories still move to and fro in my mind.Since all of us are the witness of these memories,it binds us in our memories too.

Now I have moved to college.It has become little bit difficult to trust people here.But still you can find beautiful people around.I have collected many flowers from here and they live in the garden of mine.My garden is the place where I have kept all my favourite and closest people.I call them flowers because their hearts are beautiful like flowers.And I will keep them here only till the last day of my life.And there are few people whom I remember them only because of two reasons-They hate me or I hate them.Painstakingly I remember each one of them.

Life is like a train.As we board the train of life we move from one destination to another.While boarding the journey we meet new people on every destination.Some of them become so close to us that we board the journey together.Only I will remain constant in this journey,companions keep changing.But I know that I have to complete this journey alone.I do not know how many people will remain with me till the end of this journey but they will always remain with me in my memory.Some people might have met me in the beginning of my journey,Some might have met me recently while some will meet me in the future.They might judge me according to their situation but I will always remain the same for each one of them.I do not know how many people remember me like I remember them.I do not know whether I exist in the garden of those people too who are in my garden.Still I love them.I do not know how many friends and enemies I will earn in future but I am eagerly waiting for them.

Aside  —  Posted: December 13, 2012 in Uncategorized